Vedibarta Bam � And You Shall Speak of Them: Yizkor

Yizkor is recited four times a year; Pesach, Shavuot, Yom Kippur, and Shemini Atzeret. It is not unusual for one to shed a tear or be overcome with emotion when this prayer is recited. The memory of the beloved one who is no longer physically in our midst justifiably evokes in one a feeling of sorrow and sadness.

In the Amidah (Shemoneh Esreih) and in the Kiddush, whenever we mention the Yom Tov of Shemini Atzeret, we describe it as "zeman simchateinu" - "our season of rejoicing." If so, the compatibility of Yizkor prayer with Shemini Atzeret is puzzling?

According to sociologists and psychologists, in contemporary times we are suffering from what is termed a "generation gap." The children do not respect the views of the parents and write them off as antiquated in their thinking and unable to understand and comprehend modern society. Often, parents come to Rabbis or professionals seeking their assistance to bridge the gap and help create a mutual language between them and their children. One of the saddest circumstances of society is that regardless how much a parent does for his child, the child still does not demonstrate the proper respect, appreciation, and gratitude to the parent.

The prayer of Yizkor has been termed by many as a moment of communication. In absolute solitude, the child reminds himself of his beloved parent, recalling how he misses him or her and contemplating the vacuum created with his or her departure. The greatest simchah and joy to a parent is when his child thinks of him and wants to be spiritually reunited. Consequently, the highlight of simchah - happiness and joy - is expressed in the moment of Yizkor, when child and parent communicate open heartedly with each other. Thus, it is a most appropriate prayer for Shemini Atzeret - the season of rejoicing.

In the Yizkor prayer we mention the fact that we will be making a pledge to charity. There is a story told (Yalkut Shim'oni, Ruth 607) regarding a chassid who lost his fortune and was compelled to labor as a hired hand. One day Eliyahu came to him in the guise of an Arab and told him he would be blessed with six prosperous years. He also had the option to enjoy them at once or at the end of his days. The chassid consulted with his wife, who was a wise and pious woman, and she chose to accept this heavenly gift at once. Eliyahu kept his promise and they found a treasure which enriched them. The woman decided to share her wealth by giving money to tzedakah each day, and asked her son to keep a record.

After six years Eliyahu returned and told the chassid that the riches must be returned as agreed. The chassid told him, "I originally took it only with my wife's consent, and I will give it up only with her consent." When he approached his wife and told her that the old man came to take back his treasure, she took out the record of their tzedakot and told her husband to tell him, "If you can find people more trustworthy than us, then by all means give them this wealth for safekeeping." Hashem agreed that they had been faithful stewards, and He allowed them to keep their wealth.

Fortunately, many of American Jewry have been blessed with G-d's bounty. Let us demonstrate that we are worthy of keeping it by giving generously to tzedakah.

"The eighth day shall be a restriction for you." (Bamidbar 29:35)

QUESTION: After celebrating Sukkot for eight days, Hashem added Shemini Atzeret because "kasheh alai peridatchem" - "your going away (lit. 'separation') is difficult for me" (Rashi).

It should have said "kasheh alai peridateinu" - "Our parting is difficult for me"?

ANSWER: On a holiday people are relaxed, in good spirits, and in harmony one with another. When Jews are united and live in peace, Hashem takes delight in His people. During the week, however, when people are involved in the hustle of their day-to-day life, they often come into conflict.

After observing the Jewish people celebrating eight days of harmonious living, Hashem added another day, saying: "Kasheh alai peridatchem - It is difficult for me to see the separation and disunity among you when you are busy with your weekday business. Therefore, let us have one more day of Yom Tov."

The Gemara (Shabbat 31a) relates that a gentile came to the great sage Hillel asking to be converted on the condition that he teach him the entire Torah while he stood "al regal achat" - "on one foot." Hillel responded, "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. This is the entire Torah, the rest is but elaboration." (What precisely is deemed hateful to others and should be avoided - Rashi.)

Why did the gentile make such a strange condition?

In Torah, the holidays are called "regalim" (Shemot 23:14) because of the mitzvah of making a pilgrimage to Jerusalem by foot. (See Rabbeinu Bachya and Chagigah 3a.) The Gemara (Sukkah 47a) says about Shemini Atzeret that it is "Regel bifnei atzmo" - "a separate holiday" - independent of Sukkot.

The gentile, before deciding to convert, studied Torah and was quite familiar with our holidays, traditions, etc. After comprehending the beauty of Torah, he made his decision to convert. One thing, however, bothered him: what is the significance of the "regel" - "holiday" - of Shemini Atzeret? He knew the reason for celebrating Pesach, Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot, but saw no rationale for Shemini Atzeret.

Therefore, he said to Hillel metaphorically, "I am prepared to convert, but first you must clear up an enigma bothering me. Teach me all there is to know 'al regel achat' - about 'the holiday of Shemini Atzeret' - which I am trying to 'stand on,' i.e. understand, but for which the Torah does not give any reason."

Hillel replied that Shemini Atzeret was given to the Jews because Hashem said, "Kasheh alai peridatchem." Simply explained, this means that Hashem is distressed by the leave-taking between Him and the Jewish people after Sukkot. However, precisely explained, the word "predatchem" means, "Your separation. This can be understood as a reference to dissension between Jews themselves which is avoided by not doing unto others what you would not like to be done unto you. Hashem is saying, "Your separation [among yourself] is difficult unto me. I cannot bear to witness strife and animosity between you. Therefore, celebrate this one more day in unity, and may it evoke a spirit of unity within you for the entire year." Thus, the essence of this regel - holiday - is to foster unity and Ahavat Yisrael among the Jewish people.