In the Torah portion of Seitzei we learn:
[636] "If you build a new house, you shall make a parapet for your roof; you will not place blood in your house if one falls from it." This applies not only to building physical structures, but to the erection of spiritual edifices as well:
There are many steps to erecting a structure, beginning with the initial stage of drawing the blueprints, continuing through actually building of the structure, until finally the building with all its many varied details and components is truly completed.
Having completed the house and having lived there for a time, it is distinctly possible that the person may eventually decide to build himself an even bigger and better new dwelling.
In the spiritual sense, "building a new house" refers to an individual who has already achieved a modicum of spiritual completion -- he has in the past fully erected a personal spiritual edifice. Having done so, he is now ready to go on to "bigger and better" spiritual degrees and levels, building ever newer and greater spiritual dwelling.
Having gone through the trials and tribulations necessary for erecting his first spiritual home, the person may well think to himself that he need not fear future spiritual impediments and stumbling blocks on the way to his new spiritual abode.[637]
In other words, unlike his previous dwelling, his "new home" doesn't need the protection from a "fall" that a parapet offers. After all, thinks the person to himself, hasn't he already overcome everything there was to overcome during the time he built his first house?
The Torah therefore tells us that when one builds a "new" home he must build it with a parapet. That is to say, when an individual embarks on a new and higher level of service, he is once again subject to the various challenges and difficulties -- albeit on a higher plane -- that he was subject to when he erected his first spiritual abode. He must therefore erect a "parapet," a protective barrier, which will prevent a spiritual fall.
If a "parapet" is necessary even when a person embarks on a higher level of spiritual service, how much more so when his "new" manner of service involves a descent within the physical world. In this instance, it is obvious that the trials and tribulations the person is about to face are so much greater, and additional measures of spiritual protection are a must.
The above is particularly true, when one leaves the spiritual confines of the Beis HaKenesses and Beis HaMidrash, the Houses of Prayer and Study, and is about to build a new edifice through one's service within the physical world. Such an edifice must be built with a spiritual "parapet" so that the person does not "fall."
But what exactly is this spiritual parapet composed of? A roof-parapet is not only higher than the actual house, it is even higher than the roof.
Spiritually as well, for the "parapet" to prevent any untoward spiritual occurrences, it is necessary for the parapet to emanate from an even higher level than one's actual service, higher even than one's spiritual "roof."
This will be better understood in light of the directive of the Previous Rebbe with regard to Rosh HaShanah: On Rosh HaShanah one should resolve to take upon oneself an additional hiddur, an additional "adornment" with regard to fulfilling a positive command. Also, one should take upon oneself an additional stringency with regard to the fulfillment of a negative command, as well as an added "good practice," hanhagah tovah.
For as the Alter Rebbe explains,[638] every Rosh HaShanah a new divine light, greater than ever before, is drawn down for the first time into the world -- a new spiritual edifice is to be built during the new year.
Since on Rosh HaShanah one embarks on building a "newer and better" edifice for the coming year, an accompanying new "parapet" composed of an additional "adornment," stringency and "good practice," is necessary as well.
The concept of a new "parapet" applies equally to when one begins any new form of service. Thus, whether it is leaving one's life as a yeshivah student and entering the working world, or whether it is the daily entrance into the world of commerce following one's morning prayers and Torah study, a "parapet" must be built.
This is accomplished by measurably enhancing one's level of spirituality and practice whenever one commences the construction of a newer and better spiritual abode.
Based on Likkutei Sichos, Vol. II, pp. 384-386.
The
Rambam writes in
Hilchos Geirushin,
[639] "A man should not marry a woman with the intention of divorcing her." He repeats this law later in
Hilchos Issurei Bi'ah,
[640] where he writes, "It is prohibited for a man to marry a woman with the intention of divorcing her, for the verse states,
[641] 'Do not devise evil against your friend who is dwelling securely with you.'"
Why does the Rambam state this law twice? Furthermore, the Rambam first states "A man should not marry..." which implies that while he should not do so, it is not expressly prohibited. He then goes on to say, "It is prohibited for a man to marry..."
It would seem that according to the Rambam there are two distinct laws here, one regarding the laws concerning marriage and divorce, the other -- from the verse "Do not devise..." -- regarding the manner of conduct between husband and wife.
The explanation is as follows. The essential quality and substance of a proper marriage is "cleaving to one's wife and becoming one flesh,"[642] i.e., a constant acquisition and cleaving, with an absence of anything that leads to and causes the cessation of this cleaving and unity.
When, however, the acquisition and context of the marriage is such that there is an aspect and trait that is opposite "cleaving," whether this be at the beginning of the marriage or later on, then something essential is lacking in the marriage itself.
Thus the Rambam writes in Hilchos Geirushin that "A man should not marry a woman with the intention of divorcing her," for though this may not be in and of itself prohibited, it nevertheless cannot be considered true "marriage" according to the Torah.
There is, however, an additional law, that of "Do not devise evil against your friend who is dwelling securely with you." This is a prohibition regarding the conduct of one person to another, including man and wife, for which reason "It is prohibited for a man to marry a woman with the intention of divorcing her."
The Rambam thus states this law in the particular chapter of Hilchos Issurei Bi'ah that discusses the manner that husband and wife are to conduct themselves with regard to one another, their children, etc.
Husband and wife and the institution of marriage in this world derives from the supernal aspect of "husband" and "wife" and their "marriage" above, i.e., the marriage and intimate relationship of G-d and the Jewish people.[643]
We accordingly understand even better why the substance of marriage is an eternal bond, for the marriage of G-d and the Jewish people -- "the day of His marriage (with the Jewish people), that is Mattan Torah"[644] -- is eternal and not subject to interruption or cessation.
As explained above, marrying someone whom one intends to divorce is not only unseemly behavior but also constitutes a deficiency in the very marriage itself. Accordingly, we must understand G-d's marriage to the Jewish people:
The general aspect of exile is similar to divorce,[645] as the Midrash says[646] "I have judged you with divorce." We also find the statement in Gemara[647] that "Israel responded to the prophet with a winning retort: 'A woman who was divorced by her husband, can either then complain about the [behavior of the] other?'"
Since G-d knew that the exile -- "divorce" -- would occur, isn't that -- as it were -- "marrying a woman with the intent to divorce her"?
It may be posited that there was no divine "intent" for divorce, for exile directly resulted from the Jews' freely choosing to behave in an untoward manner, and absent that behavior there would not have been any exile or divorce.
Nonetheless, a question remains. G-d was aware at Mattan Torah that Jews would be exiled. Even if there was no shortcoming in His "intent" -- the "divorce" resulted from Jews exercising their free choice, etc. -- still, the fact remains that on G-d's part the marriage wasn't in a manner of an eternal bond, as He knew from the outset that down the road there would be a "divorce."
In point of fact, there never was a "divorce"; the "winning retort" concerning "divorce" only reflects the standpoint of the Jewish people, as in exile they do not feel G-d's closeness to them and therefore liken it to "a woman divorced."
The truth of the matter is that during exile, although on the surface the marriage seems extremely shaky, if not over, it is in fact even stronger than before. For the entire intent of exile and G-d's concealment therein is to bring about an even deeper level of union and commitment between "husband" and "wife," between G-d and the Jewish people.
Based on Likkutei Sichos, Vol. XXXIV, pp. 138-144.
Notes:
- (Back to text) Devarim 22:8.
- (Back to text) See Yoma 38b.
- (Back to text) Iggeres HaKodesh, Epistle XIV.
- (Back to text) 10:21.
- (Back to text) 21:28.
- (Back to text) Mishlei 3:29.
- (Back to text) Bereishis 2:24.
- (Back to text) As elaborated on in Shir HaShirim and countless Midrashim.
- (Back to text) Taanis 26b; see also Bamidbar Rabbah 12:8.
- (Back to text) See MaHaram Shif, conclusion of Gittin.
- (Back to text) Bereishis Rabbah, 19:9; Pesikta of Eichah Rabbah 4, and sources cited there.
- (Back to text) Sanhedrin 105a; see also Likkutei Sichos, Vol. IX, p. 146ff.
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