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The spirit of prophecy was manifest in the beis hamedrash of my master and Rebbe, Reb Ephraim Fishel Kadosh. It was all in the merit of my saintly ancestors. I never had the privilege of being a student of my father - the perfect tzaddik - for he passed away when I was only one year old. From his sixth birthday until his last day, he sat in the cheder and in the beis hamedrash, studying in holiness and purity.
At the age of fourteen, his father (my grandfather, the gaon and tzaddik) married him off to his wife, my saintly mother. She had been orphaned from her father, a G-d-fearing tzaddik. I was born a year after their wedding, and was given her father's holy name.
In the merit of my holy ancestors, the head of the Community Council kept an eye on me and saw to it that I had good teachers. At the age of thirteen, I was already studying at the second table in the yeshivah of my master and Rebbe, the tzaddik Reb Azriel Zevulun, the Rosh Yeshivah of Semilia.
When I was fifteen, the tzaddik Reb Azriel Zevulun instructed me to go to the beis hamedrash of the famous gaon and awesome tzaddik, my holy master. He gave me a strong letter of recommendation, in which he referred to me as "a scholar who is thoroughly versed in the entire Talmud, and knows it in depth."
My Rebbe examined me for two weeks, and he also referred me to his most brilliant students, to discuss complex Torah topics. Thank G-d, I met with their approval, and the approval of my holy Rebbe.
When I arrived in Minsk, I perceived the light of Torah radiating in every corner of the city. So many yeshivos, so many Torah scholars, tzaddikim, geonim, perushim! And above all, the yeshivah of the Chief Rabbi, the gaon and kabbalist Reb Ephraim Fishel Kadosh.
Among all the students, in all the yeshivos of Minsk, Reb Ephraim Fishel chose 120 students, whom he divided into five classes. Each class studied at a separate table. Four classes had twenty-five students each, and one class had twenty.
All of our holy Rebbe's students possessed outstanding abilities. They were truly superior, and they all studied with awesome diligence. They were scrupulous in the observance of mitzvos, and very G-d-fearing. Even the students of the first table possessed a thorough knowledge of the Talmud, with Rashi and Tosafos.
Each successive table was higher than the previous one. The fifth table was the highest of all, and our Rebbe used to call it "the golden table, the pure table, the Torah table." Each table was assigned a curriculum of study appropriate to its station. Twice a week, our Rebbe would deliver a lecture to the students of the first four tables.
The twenty students of the fifth class were divided into three groups: i) ten students of the "Golden Table"; ii) the ten best students, whom our Rebbe called the "Pure Table"; iii) two of these, whom he chose to be together with him. He would consult with them about any novel Torah insights that he had thought of, which he would not reveal to any other person. These two were called the "Torah Table."
I was first examined by the students of my holy master and Rebbe. Afterwards, I met with my Rebbe's favor, and he admitted me as a student at the second of the four regular tables. I now proceeded to study with much diligence, and my happiness knew no bounds. Thus, a year and three months passed, during which I obtained (by the grace of G-d, and in the merit of my holy ancestors) a proper background in the depths of Halachah.
One day, my holy master and Rebbe summoned me to his office, and informed me that the time had come for me to get married. A supporter of his yeshivah had come to him, and said that he wished to obtain a husband for his daughter. In his opinion, I was a choice candidate. After the wedding, I would be able to devote myself for several years to Torah study in holiness and purity.
Obviously, I agreed to my Rebbe's proposal, and on that same day the engagement was made official. A few months later, my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, and the bride (my wife, sincere and honest in both her religious and social life, and a doer of good deeds) arrived in Minsk. The wedding was celebrated with much grace and splendor. My holy master and Rebbe performed the ceremony, and blessed us.
I lived at the home of my father-in-law in a small village for three months. Afterwards, I returned to the beis hamedrash of my holy master and Rebbe. When I arrived, my Rebbe asked me why I had come so soon. To this, I replied that my soul thirsted for Torah. "That's all very good!" replied my Rebbe. "But even so, you should return home now. When a son or daughter is born to you, then - with your wife's permission - you may come here to study for several years in purity."
During the time that I lived in the village and was supported by my father-in-law, I was able to study with marvelous diligence. With G-d's help, my mouth never ceased to utter words of Torah, neither by day nor at night. When my oldest daughter was born, I obtained my wife's permission to return to the beis hamedrash of my holy master and Rebbe. There, I remained for ten years, during which I visited home only three times.
During those ten years, as I was studying in great depth and with amazing diligence, I gradually rose through the ranks and became a member of the Torah Table. This exclusive group consisted of: my holy master and Rebbe; his son - the gaon and perfect tzaddik who possessed the spirit of G-d - Reb Elyakim Schraga; and myself.
My Rebbe would often use expressions such as: "Today, this interpretation was revealed to me by Heaven...; Last night, that lesson was revealed to me...; In the Heavenly Yeshivah they said the following...; In the [Heavenly] palace of Rav, they said as follows...; The Holy One, blessed be He, taught me this lesson through his angel, Eliyahu HaNavi...."
Once, an extremely profound question was posed at the Pure Table. My holy master and Rebbe summoned me to his office to search for an answer to the question. My Rebbe's son, my G-dly Rebbe himself, and I, exerted ourselves to the utmost. We argued and debated back and forth, but all our efforts achieved nothing - the riddle remained unsolved. Our master and Rebbe refuted all our scholarly insights, but he was unable to come up with a solution of his own. Being in great distress, he declared:
"If I - Ephraim Fishel - were considered a person of worth in Heaven, they would have taught me the solution to this topic. If I - Ephraim Fishel - were a G-d-fearing person, they would have revealed to me the true interpretation. It seems that I - Ephraim Fishel - must do teshuvah. Then, the Holy one will take pity upon me." Saying this, he wept bitterly.
Seeing our holy Rebbe's pain and suffering, we attempted to console him, pointing out that even in the writings of the Geonim we find that numerous difficulties remained unsolved. Even the sages of the Talmud left many questions unanswered. So, why should our holy master be in such anguish? But our words accomplished nothing. Our Rebbe sat there weeping, and we left his office in great distress.
That day happened to be Yom Kippur Katan. You are familiar with the liturgy of Yom Kippur Katan. But the way it is observed these days, does not begin to compare with the depressed spirits I used to see on Yom Kippur Katan during my youth. And, I would hear the elders of that day complain that the situation had deteriorated - the Yom Kippur Katan of those times bore no resemblance to the way Yom Kippur Katan had been observed when they themselves were young boys.
On Yom Kippur Katan, our master and Rebbe and all the yeshivah students would fast. Our Rebbe would deliver a mussar lecture twice during the day: once in the morning before the Tehillim following Shacharis, and the second time during Minchah, before VaYechal was read. To this day I still remember the words of mussar that our Rebbe would preach after Shacharis. He actually suffered physically from striking his breast during the confession of Al Cheit, and from the bitter weeping that accompanied his recital of the Selichos.
When our Rebbe ascended the podium, his head would be bent over like a marsh reed. His face was white as chalk, his features portrayed terrible sadness, and his whole being appeared dejected. With much weeping, he began to speak in a pleading voice, filled with sadness:
"Today is Yom Kippur Katan. Alas, Alas! How many mitzvos we neglected to fulfill during the past month! Woe, Woe! How many sins we committed during the past month!"
He then continued to weep bitterly. Resuming his speech in a tearful and trembling voice, he declared:
"I know; yes, my well-endowed students, I know full well that you are all perfect tzaddikim. The long-time students (here, he mentioned the names of several students of the Pure Table, including my own name) are especially geonim and perfect tzaddikim. But I, Ephraim Fishel, am a sinner and deceiver." He then cried out with a loud and bitter lament, while beating his head with his fist.
Hearing our Rebbe's confession, all the students of all the classes broke out in tears of teshuvah, joined by the elder geonim of the city who were present in the beis hamedrash. On that particular day, our master and Rebbe's despair and anguish was even greater, and went beyond what was normal for such a day. This was because he had not succeeded in finding a solution to the profound difficulty discovered by the students of the Pure Table.
When we returned to the yeshivah, we discovered that a stranger - wearing tattered clothing, and carrying a knapsack on his back and a stick in his hand - had entered the yeshivah. He sat on a bench, intently observing everything that happened. After a few minutes, the man approached me and inquired, "Where is the gaon, the Rosh Yeshivah? I have something to discuss with him in private."
I responded with Shalom Aleichem, to which he replied Aleichem Shalom. He then inquired, "Are you by chance the most excellent of the students, the senior of the two who sit together with the Rosh Yeshivah at the Pure Table?"
"Yes, I am he," I replied.
"May you be blessed!" he said. He then repeated that he had something to discuss with my holy master and Rebbe, and requested that I take him to the Rosh Yeshivah's office.
"That would be beneath my dignity as a Torah scholar. But I can assign one of the other students to show you the way," I told him.
"Nevertheless, I insist," he said.
"No!" I replied.
The visitor went to my Rebbe's office with one of the other students, and I sat down to study my lessons, paying no further attention to the man and our conversation. I found myself in a very cheerful mood, and I continued studying with great pleasure for several hours without stopping. I remained oblivious to the discomforts of the fast, and neither saw nor heard anything that happened around me.
The time for Minchah arrived. On an ordinary day we would be careful to daven Minchah as early as possible. But on fast days, and especially on the fast of Yom Kippur Katan, we would take time to prepare ourselves to listen to the sermon of divrei kevushin[3] that our master and Rebbe delivered during the Minchah prayer. Each student would sit in his chosen spot and think thoughts of teshuvah.
Our teshuvah took on various forms. One would cry that he had not been as careful as he should when pronouncing the words of Kerias Shema. Another would mutter that his learning had lacked sufficient diligence. A third would recite a silent confession of his sins and transgressions, especially the sin of neglecting the honor of the Torah, and affronting the dignity of Torah scholars.
Each wept in his own way, but all of us collectively returned to G-d with all our hearts, our souls, and our strength. On Yom Kippur Katan, the two hours before Minchah were devoted exclusively to teshuvah for sins committed against G-d, and for those committed against one's fellow Jew. Each would beg the other for forgiveness from the depths of his heart, and with the greatest submissiveness.
I myself was also busy with my teshuvah, as I sat in a remote corner and reflected on my deeds. Suddenly, one of the students of the "Pure Table" approached and informed me that our holy master and Rebbe had summoned me to his office, the "Torah Table." Since he told me that the G-dly gaon and tzaddik - our Rebbe's son - was already there, and they were waiting for me, I hurried to our Rebbe's office.
When I arrived, I noticed that our holy Rebbe was in an exceedingly cheerful mood. This was unusual for him, especially since it was Yom Kippur Katan, when our Rebbe and all the yeshivah students were fasting and preparing for the Minchah prayer. I wondered greatly at this - in a short while, our Rebbe would be delivering a mussar lecture, and here he was in such a cheerful mood! His holy face glowed and shined; even on Simchas Torah I had never seen my Rebbe's holy face glow as it did then.
I was extremely amazed by our Rebbe's good cheer on that fast day of Yom Kippur Katan. But I wondered even more when - at my approach - our Rebbe stood up and said to me:
"Welcome, my beloved disciple, the gaon and perfect tzaddik, blessed by a prophet of the L-rd, perpetually competent to impart his holy Torah teachings to his humble students, our lord and master, Reb Shalom Yehudah!
"And now," he said to his son and to me, "please be seated. I will tell you the correct solution to the question posed by the students of the Pure Table. Our eyes will light up as we feast on the bounty of our holy Torah."
Our master and Rebbe spoke for a long time as he solved the profound difficulty discovered by the students of the Pure Table. When he had finished explaining the solution, he remarked:
"Do you have any idea from whom I received these novel insights to the Torah? The Holy One, blessed be He, must have seen my distress, for he sent to me Eliyahu HaNavi (of blessed memory), who imparted to me the lesson I have just taught to you."
I was astounded by the ingenious solution, and even more amazed by our holy Rebbe's story that Eliyahu HaNavi had revealed himself to him while he was awake [not in a dream], and by how highly the Holy One must regard our Rebbe to send an angel to him to reveal secrets of the Torah. At that point, my Rebbe turned to me and said:
"You too, were privileged to converse with Eliyahu HaNavi (of blessed memory). He blessed you, and said that you had met with his holy approval. He wished to take you along when he came to me to teach me the solution. But you refused to show him the way to my office, and instead you sent him to me with the distinguished student Reb Aryeh Levi."
Hearing that the man with the tattered clothing had been none other than Eliyahu HaNavi, and that not only had I - through my very sinful ways - squandered the opportunity to hear his teaching, but had insulted him in the bargain, I fell to the floor and wept bitterly from the depths of my soul. I then begged my holy master and Rebbe to arrange for me a program of penance and teshuvah. I promised to continue fasting night and day for series of five alternate days, until I was certain that G-d had forgiven my sin. I also resolved to adopt the trait of permanent humility.
I was twenty-eight years old then. Following the advice of my master and Rebbe, I went into exile, in the company of some beggars who traveled from town to town. With my wife's consent and permission, I remained in exile for three years. When I returned home, I discovered that our holy master and Rebbe had fallen sick, but that the students of the yeshivah were still pursuing their diligent study. My Rebbe then transferred to me the burden of running his holy yeshivah.
Our holy Rebbe's illness lasted for more than two years, until he finally ascended to Heaven, leaving us forlorn. About a year later, all the elder geonim, the seven members of the City Council, and the officers of the congregation unanimously chose the senior scholar, the penetrating and knowledgeable gaon Reb Yechiel of Halosk, to be the Chief Rabbi, succeeding our holy master and Rebbe.
Notes:
- (Back to text) From the Previous Rebbe's essay, "Fathers of Chassidus," HaTamim, Vol. 4, pp. 364-367.
- (Back to text) [Reb Yitzchak Aizik repeated it to the Rebbe Maharash. He, in turn, told it to his son the Rebbe Rashab, who repeated it to the Previous Rebbe during their daily walks in the Balivka summer estate. Reb Zelmele's own story is resumed in the following chapter.]
- (Back to text) [Lit. "words that subjugate (the heart)"; an address traditionally delivered during Minchah on fast days by an elder of the congregation. See Taanis 2:1.]
Reb Zelmele Stutzker